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“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” – Confucius

“What do you want to do when you grow up?” I asked the sunny 5-year-old sitting beside me at the dentist’s clinic. She was there to ‘comfort her dad’. “I’m going to become a parrot talker trainer in Arrrruba and a Mars space station specialist,” she said confidently. It made me smile.

I confess I might have found her combination of life goals unrealistic. But don’t we grown-ups too have life goals that lead tangentially in opposite directions – the ‘want to’ and the ‘would love to’ goals?

So how to set goals and achieve them in a way that adds value to our life & makes us feel content?

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Life Goals

Dreaming is good. Without dreams, nothing new would ever be created. Yet, do you think any of those dreams would have resulted in a new invention if there wasn’t a specific plan?

You can have as fantastic life goals as my confident little friend at the dentist’s! But, if you don’t plan ahead, you might find it tough to shuttle daily between Aruba and Mars with your parrots.

So, how to make a plan for your life? Write down where you want to be in your personal life and professional life 10 years from now. Make it something that you might be unwilling to show anyone because they’d think you are aiming soooo above yourself.

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Now imagine you’ve reached those goals.

What qualities do you have at that moment? Those qualities are the mini-goals that will lead you to your dream life.

Then, you plan the action steps needed to reach those mini-goals. These action steps aren’t unbendable rules but simply meant to give direction to your actions every day.

In a nutshell, break your big scary goal into mini yearly goals. Then plan out your year to reach those goals. If you think of these mini-goals as a step in the right direction, each step will take you closer to what looked doubtful 10 years back.

If you want examples of life goals, it can be anything like

• Be married with 5 kids. Or
• Enjoying my single status to the hilt.
• Running my own extra-exclusive handmade hats business. Or
• Heading a multi-billion corporate jumbo.
• Vacationing in my off-the-grid farm. Or
• Touring the distant corners of the earth in my off-time.
• Be more healthy yet comfortable in my own skin. Or
• Be healthy and have the perfect body.

It’s your life and your right to choose!

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Personal Goals

To understand how to set goals & achieve them, let’s just focus on personal goals for now.

Though she didn’t realize, that little girl (whom we were talking about) had kept room for both personal and professional goals in her dream life! Her personal goal – she’d be living in Aruba and have pet parrots.

But, you & I as grown-ups know that personally there are so many aspects to consider, right? Family, health, education, financial profile, personality, attitude, daily routine and so much more. Personal goal setting has to factor all these in and a bit more.

Or, you can just focus on the 3 most important ones for you.

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If you’re drawing nil when brainstorming for your list and wondering what are some examples of personal goals, here’s a list to get those wheels moving:

• Meditate and journal every day.
• Learn a new language.
• Indulge my hobby every weekend.
• Quit 1 bad habit every 3 months.
• Be debt-free.
• Tick 5 locations off of my vacation bucket list.
• Become a better listener.
• Be more comfortable in my body.
• Exercise 5 days a week with a focus on healthy rather than lean.
• Stop procrastinating.
• Learn from and let go of my past.
• Reduce my carbon footprint.
• Keep aside time in my planner to connect with family and friends.
• Decluttered home and life.

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How to set goals & achieve them: Understanding the types of Goals

To make planning what we want from life easier and less stressful, sort out goals in 3 broad categories. So, what are the 3 types of goals? Well, different people have different systems in place. But, what I find useful is this.

Write down who you ultimately want to be remembered as. That is your life goal.

To become that person, where would you have to be professionally and personally 10 years down the line? Those are your long-term goals.

And, what things do you need to cover or what do you need to do to be there in 10 years are your short term goals.

To answer your next question (I’m a mind reader!!) what is an example of a short term goal, let’s go back to the dentist’s office (not literally).

That little girl’s short term goal would be to get a pet parrot now and learn to care for it. Because this and a few more short-term goals like learning to train them, actually training a few, learning what pets are allowed in Aruba and making arrangements for visiting or short-stay in Aruba would land her long-term goal of being a parrot trainer in Aruba.

Did you know that the Plan part of the free personal growth combo (guide+plan+template) I’ve created has lots of short-term goal ideas divided into different focus-area categories? Check it out here. This’ll help you get a clearer picture of how to set goals & achieve them without overwhelm.

For setting personal goals, begin with choosing an area that you think needs the most work on. It can be your fitness, self-care, life skills like better listener or proactivity or anything else. Try and pinpoint the area that needs most focus. Then brainstorm for ideas that you think will help you improve.

If you’re drawing a blank while creating a list of goals to set for yourself, here’s a quiz by Nadalie of Its All You Boo that’ll help identify your specific focus point. Also, based on the results, you’ll get some helpful suggestions for goal ideas.

Set smart goals for yourself. Smart as in work smart rather than work hard. And also, SMART that basically stands for goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound.

Say, for example, your goal is to get your weight in the healthy range for your height category. Instead of setting a goal of ‘exercise’, set it as ’10 minutes’ brisk walk 6 days a week for 1 month’. It’s specific – you know exactly what to do. 6 days is measurable. Walking 10 minutes – attainable. Exercise helps reduce weight – relevant. And, 1 month – time-bound.

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How to Use the Power of Positive Thinking – Overcome Limiting Beliefs

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Action Time: How to Set Goals and Achieve Them

The short-term goals that you came up with earlier for reaching your 10-year goal are your yearly goals now. But that doesn’t make it clear what you need to do every day, does it?

So, break the yearly goal into monthly and then weekly goals. Then, write down what you need to do every day in order to accomplish your weekly goals. This is your action plan. How to set goals & achieve them doesn’t sound so cryptic anymore, does it?

Here’s an example of an action plan. Let’s say your weekly goal is to get a pet parrot.

• Day 1: Find out local pet stores that have parrots up for adoption.
• Day 2: Find out if any type of license or clearance is needed for keeping an exotic or indigenous bird as a pet.
• Day 3: Ask which types of parrots the pet store houses and which is best suited for you.
• Day 4: Research online, read and ask about to know more about taking care of a parrot and what to expect.
• Day 5: Buy food, water dispenser and perch for the bird.
• Day 6: Bring pet parrot home from the pet store.

Maintain a physical or digital planner to monitor your progress. The Slay Your Goals Planner by Nadalie is a very helpful solution if you’re wondering how to organize your goals and action plan. It’s instant-access printable as well as desktop and mobile adaptive.  So you can carry it on your smartphone and add something whenever you have a new idea!

There are guiding prompts & reflection questions to come up with action steps. You can review progress and plan your whole year in a single place. Aaaand, it won’t burn a hole in your pocket.

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How to Set Goals and Achieve Them – Motivation & Discipline

It’s needless to say that you’d need loads of motivation on your way to create the dream life. And you’ll be motivated to give your best most days if you truly believe the result is worthwhile. But, here’s a hard fact that I wish wasn’t true – it’s impossible to stay motivated all the time.

We’re human beings and are programmed to go through ups and downs in our mood, wonder whether all this is really worth it and question our goals in life. There are bound to be times when even the 3-tasks-a-day to-do list simply seems too much to handle!

All.this.is.normal

So what to do instead? I turn completing my goal-oriented tasks list into a habit. Because you know what?

Discipline will help you create habits and habits don’t need motivation!

Staying motivated is very important to enjoy the journey towards your goals. Knowing how to set your goals & achieve them will take you far. But to make this journey as effortless as possible, it’s important to be disciplined first and create habits. Habits don’t need motivation to keep you taking action & moving in the right direction.

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You can follow a simple 3-step trick to form new habits that I call the

ACT method: Action.Connect.Treat

Action:

Say, if you want to begin exercising more consistently, make a list of things that you realistically can do. The key here is ‘realistic’,  not ‘start jogging 5 miles everyday’ kind of ideas.

These must be specific actions and not general statements like ‘exercise every morning’. Things on your list must look like ‘jog 20 minutes at medium pace before shower in the morning’. Getting the idea?

It’s far easier to follow specific action steps on unmotivated days. And you will have unmotivated days because the brain rebels when it has to break old habits like having coffee first thing in the morning or sleeping a bit longer than go for a brisk walk.

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Connect:

Connect your new habit action to something you do automatically every day or to a visual cue.

Let’s say you’re working on your weight management.

You automatically snooze the alarm button every morning, right? Now time your new habit of say, warm honey-lemon water just after it. This way, over time, snoozing the alarm would trigger your craving for warm water and you’d have formed a new habit!

Make it easy to follow the new action habit. Add visual cues to it by adding a small pot of honey, half a lemon in a squeezer and electric water jug along with your usual glass of water to your nightstand. Sounds do-able? Now comes the best part.

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Treat:

Treats make it easier for the brain to log any action for repeat use.

What I mean is, if you connect the completion of your task with a small something that you like, you’ll obviously feel good, right? This feel-good factor would tell your brain to perform that task again and again to earn that specific reward.

Say for example, you want to begin meditating every day. If you’ve been able to meditate or at least sat quietly without fidgeting for that duration 5 days in a row, then treat yourself to a mini movie marathon or a glass of your favorite wine or whatever works for you.

Write this treat down somewhere where you can see daily. This wll act as motivation and the feeling of accomplishment at the end of 5 days will print the habit on your brain a bit more prominently.

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You must have heard that it takes about 21 days to form a habit if performed repeatedly, right? But, there has to be a triggering factor (the A of ACT method) and a reward system (Talking of T here) for your brain to register it as something to be put on a repeat mode.

Track your habits over a month and see what’s working for you and where you need to tweak things a bit to make it workable. Put a small note in your habit tracker showing the reason beside dates when you couldn’t follow through. This’ll let you know where to tweak your plan for the next month.  Here’s a free habit tracker at Its All You Boo that you might like. There are different designs to choose from and motivational prompts to keep you on track.

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If going the full haul & trying to take in the big picture scares you or makes you feel stressed out, start with mini-goals. It’s just like new year resolutions but with a strategy that brings in results. These are easier to achieve, will help you stay motivated with a comparatively quicker sense of achievement…. and will take you closer to your big life goals!

Goals give direction, intention, and meaning to our life. Set them wisely because what’s more important than reaching them is how much you grow along the way.

Getting back to our little girl at the dentist’s office, I realized that she was much more in control of her dreams and life goals than many of us grown-ups.

So I shook her hand, wished her all the best and told her I look forward to getting my future pet parrot (whaaat!!) trained by her.

She went away happy and I had the cutest reminder that if you really keep an open mind, no one’s too young to teach you something meaningful in life.

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How do you stay disciplined while creating a new habit? Let us know in the comments below. Your approach might help someone on the same path.

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